like fine perrier

come, let’s drink deep of love till morning;
let’s enjoy ourselves with love!

scepticism and n.t. wright

going into simply christian, i wasn’t too passionate either way.  if anything, i wasn’t exactly pro-wright, which made me a little more excited to read it.  as a supposed contemporary version of mere christianity, wright’s book does manage to cover similar ground with a twist that would appeal to eco-sociofriendly academia.  not necessarily my bag, but i’m half way through and n.t.’s starting to win me over – slightly:

the roman governor was weak and indecisive; the priests, manipulative.  jesus went to his death on a charge of which he was innocent – actual rebellion against rome – but of which most of his contemporaries were guilty, at least in intention.  barabbas, a rebel leader, went free in his stead.  a centurion, looking up at his thousandth victim, saw and heard something he hadn’t expected and muttered that maybe this man was god’s son after all.

the meaning of the story is found in every detail, as well as in the broad narrative.  the pain and tears of all the years were met together on calvary.  the sorrow of heaven joined with the anguish of earth; the forgiving love stored up in god’s future was poured out into the present; the voices that echo in a million human hearts, crying for justice, longing for spirituality, eager for relationship, yearning for beauty, drew themselves together into a final scream of desolation.

nothing in all the history of paganism comes anywhere near this combination of event, intention, and meaning.  nothing in judaism had prepared for it, except in puzzling, shadowy prophecy.  the death of jesus of nazareth as the king of the jews, the bearer of israel’s destiny, the fulfillment of god’s promises to his people of old, is either the most stupid, senseless waste and misunderstanding the world has ever seen, or it is the fulcrum around which world history turns.

well put, wright.

the broken heart

o lord,
no day of my life has passed that has not proved me guilty in thy sight.
prayers have been uttered from a prayerless heart;
praise has been often praiseless sound;
my best services are filthy rags.
blessed jesus,
let me find a covert in thy appeasing wounds.
though my sins rise to heaven thy merits soar above them;
though unrighteousness weighs me down to hell,
thy righteousness exalts me to thy throne.
all things in me call for my rejection,
all things in thee plead my acceptance.
i appeal from the throne of perfect justice to thy throne of boundless grace.
grant me to hear thy voice assuring me:
that by thy stripes i am healed,
that thou wast bruised for my iniquities,
that thou hast been made sin for me that i might be righteous in thee,
that my grievous sins, my manifold sins, are all forgiven,
buried in the ocean of thy concealing blood.
i am guilty, but pardoned,
lost, but saved,
wandering, but found,
sinning, but cleansed.
give me perpetual broken-heartedness,
keep me always clinging to thy cross,
flood me every moment with descending grace,
open to me the springs of divine knowledge,
sparkling like crystal,
flowing clear and unsullied through my wilderness of life.

the invitation

nathanael said to him, “can anything good come out of nazareth?”
philip said to him, “come and see.”

ransomed from the house of slavery

reflecting on micah 6 today.  a friend pointed out how amazing it is that israel stood as the accused defendant before god, who called the mountains as witnesses.  to make that personal, how better to be embarrassed now and repent from my sin, than to harbor it and have god contend with me later?

several weeks ago, i sat down and made a column of recent sin/sin patterns in my life on the left, and on the right, thought of how christ provides better than the sins to which i run for solace.  for instance, my constant desire for control (at any cost), compared to god’s sovereignty over all things at all times, for the good of his people and the glory of his son.  when i specifically acknowledged my sin to myself and to god, confession and repentence felt like blessings, because i immediately saw how christ covers those sins.  my desire is to turn from them, and now that i can remind myself what they are, instead of pretending they are not there, my relationship with god seems more open, even though i know he always sees all of me.

in light of that reflection, micah 6:4 was a welcomed thought – that because of christ, god has ransomed me from the house of slavery.

the pastor of center city knows

summer reading begins.  i picked up how people change by lane and tripp a while ago, and am only finishing it now.  one of the chapters reflects on psalm 88 and the importance of being honest before God.  it continues:

i had an epiphany one wednesday evening in the middle of our small group meeting.  people were sharing prayer requests, but it was the same old grocery list of situational, self-protective requests masquerading as openness and self-disclosure.  i found myself thinking, why did we all feel the need to clean up our prayer requests before giving them?  why were we all so skilled at editing ourselves out of our prayer requests?  why were we so good at sharing the difficult circumstances we faced, yet so afraid of talking about our struggles in the middle of them?  did we really care more about what people thought than we did about getting help?

my prayer requests are mostly situational; it was convicting to have this brought to my attention.  why do i care more about what people will think of me than asking God and others to help me put my sin to death?

a good word to start off the day.

the 30 hour famine

brought back memories this weekend of when carrie and i had fun planning ours in high school.  the philly middle schoolers do it slightly differently – they raise money for the event, then begin the fast directly after breakfast on friday.  that evening, a number of area youth groups get together for worship, devotional time and games.  then they all go back to their home churches to spend the night and serve around areas in the city all day saturday.  tonight all the participating youth groups and their family members get together for another time of worship and devotions, then break the fast with dinner at church.

steve led devotions again, the man who spoke at our retreat a few weeks ago.  he reminded us, “it is not about who you are, but whose you are.”  in class last week ed said something similar.  the topic was depression.  we took a look at II corinthians 4:16-18.  a familiar passage, but in my notes, i lined up all the separate statements to look at them as a whole that way:

we do not lose heart
our outer nature is wasting away
our inner nature is being renewed daily
we experience affliction
it is only slight and momentary
affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory
this weight of glory is beyond comparison
we do not look to things we see
we look to what we cannot see
things that are seen are transient
things that are unseen are eternal

for the second to last line, i am used to seeing the word “temporary”.  but to me, “temporary” implies that it is still around for a while.  the word “transient” is more powerful.  what is “seen” just comes and goes.

even finals?  even famine?

ch-ch-ch-changes

not to quote a lame-o 90s song, or anything.

kristen and i were out the other day, talking about how we have changed/not changed.  this time last year she was in a major crisis situation and shared some of her plight with an old friend.  he offered words of comfort and kristen was grateful.

the two caught up a few months later and kristen expressed to the old friend how amazed she was at the way God moved in and through the situation, despite of how devastating it was.  he commented back, “i believe God can raise the dead, but i doubt whether or not he can change the living.”  i love when a person can take a million of my separate thoughts, and put them into one comprehensive sentence.  why can my doubt be so overwhelmingly crippling?  chew on his thought with me and see where it applies to your own life.  let me know if anything comes to mind.

concerned, yet busy

in a meeting last week the person next to me prayed, “remind us, Lord, that in your grace and mercy, you have pursued and redeemed us.”  it was helpful to be reminded of this truth when i am concerned, yet busy.  there are areas where i feel my attention is needed, but i have no attention to give.

the Lord is faithful.  i can admit to him that i am concerned, yet busy.  He works despite my weaknesses, but also calls me to faithfuless; thankfully He modeled it first.

the unrest

steinbeck and i spent some time together yesterday:
only let a man say that he will do something and a whole mechanism goes to work to stop him.

many things have changed this week; sleep has not come naturally, there is little motivation to read, the warm weather is freaking me out, my brakes are making horrible noises, school is not desireable, some relationships have been difficult.  last monday i decided to be intentional about how i live.  like steinbeck said, the moment i made that decision, the whole world turned against me.

in a prayer meeting on thursday, a friend across the table prayed, “Father, thank you for the rest and unrest you give us in order to grow.”  this week i have felt the unrest.  if i am not forced to be discerning, i rarely choose that mindset on my own.  in retrospect, the unrest has driven me again to a better state of sober-mindedness.  but thankfully, realizing that God is always in the mess with me puts a whole different twist on my outlook.

not to ruin the moment, but i am at lynne’s boss’ house and there is a creepy painting staring at me of four smiling clowns.  gotta jet.